Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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