to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hippo gnu deer
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
