so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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