return my video game
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
