well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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