Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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