I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
