I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize