...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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