Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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