one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
