the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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