It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I need a hoe opinion
go on
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
