I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
