Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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