Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
