I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
