NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
