addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Screwed.edu
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
