wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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