i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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