So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
