Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
