woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
