Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
