There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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