I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
