Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
