yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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