How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize