we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
