Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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