Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
