Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
