But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
