you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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