well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
