FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
