Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
