Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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