You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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