i just had sex bonerless
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
