If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
