Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
