He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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