soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
