I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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