found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
