i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
