...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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