i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
