i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she pinky promised me she was 18
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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