Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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