Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
