Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
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That's how twitter works, right?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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