She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
