I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
50% drunk capacity currently
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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