Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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