well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
