He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize