Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
