i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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